Cruel Desire
by Kiss Me I'm Ginger
Summary: Mating is when you're tied to someone forever. Being away from them hurts and their emotions become yours. You belong to that person body and soul, and they belong to you. Bella can't wait to leave Forks behind and find her mate and true love. Too bad her biggest fear comes true when her mate ends up being none other than Edward Cullen, her bully. ExB HEA
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Mating is when you're tied to someone forever. Being away from them hurts and their emotions become yours. You belong to that person body and soul, and they belong to you. When someone turns 17 they're officially mating age. Bella can't wait to leave Forks behind and find her mate and true love. Too bad her biggest fear comes true when her mate ends up being none other than Edward Cullen, her bully.**

 **Disclaimer: This is for every chapter of this story. NONE OF THE CHARACTERS ARE MINE! They all belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer! No movies, books, or tv shows that I talk about or quote are mine. This is fanfiction, so it's safe to assume that almost nothing except for how the story is carried out and most of the dialect is mine!**

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Chapter 1

BPOV

I don't necessarily hate my high school. I just happen to hate almost all the people here, which makes it kind of difficult to enjoy the school.

My name's Bella Swan and I'm the resident klutz of Forks High School, this makes me the target of jokes, laughter, and bullying. Don't get me wrong, it could be worse. I mean it's not like anyone here has ever gotten physical with me beyond a slight shoving in the hallway, or a leg being stuck out to make me trip, and I'm not in a constant fear of being picked on, they do leave me alone most of the time, but that doesn't mean that it's fun. It just means that it's a lot of loneliness that's broken up with some misery.

One more year. That's my mantra as I once again pull up into the parking lot in the spot farthest from the school. It means more walking for me, but also that I'm not parked by the popular kids which makes it easier to go unnoticed when I leave. Showing up unnoticed is impossible when you have a truck as loud as mine.

As I park my car and hop out I can see that the Cullen's and Hale's and Emmett (or as I call them, the royals) are already here and hanging out by their cars, taking advantage of the nice weather. That means I'll have to walk by them on my way to the school. Fuck me.

The Cullen's, Hale's, and Emmett are royalty of Forks. I guess that's what happens when you're all ridiculously good looking and your families are filthy rich. It makes sense that they all mated.

Emmett McCarty, the good-looking athlete who is surprisingly smart and a decently nice guy, even to me. He might laugh the loudest when I fall, and make jokes at my expense, but he does it to everybody. I just happen to be clumsier than most, giving him more ammo. Even knowing that he laughs at everyone, it doesn't stop me from wanting to cry every time he laughs at me in the hall. His laugh is enough to make everyone pay attention and laugh along. He's the type of guy that thrives on that and has to make a cruel joke at my expense to get more laughs. He might be nicer than the rest, but he still isn't nice, and I'm not a fan of him. He's about 6'2'' with really dark curly short hair, brown eyes, and muscles that make me question if he's taking steroids to improve his game. He'd be the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen if it weren't for his dimples.

He mated to Rosalie Hale and if she wasn't so pretty, I'd feel really bad for him. To put it quite plainly, she's a bitch. She likes to trip me and push me around whenever she can. She's the head cheerleader and also annoyingly smart so she's able to get away with it as she has the whole school wrapped around her finger, even the teachers and principal. Rosalie is 5'7'' with a thin yet curvy figure that any girl would kill for. She has bright blue eyes, blonde wavy long hair, and the confidence of a girl who, well, looks like she does. While Emmett makes jokes to be funny, she makes jokes to be cruel, and she succeeds every time.

Rosalie's twin brother Jasper Hale is a spitting image of his sister, but in male form. He's 6'1'' with blonde hair that looks like a surfer, bright blue eyes, and a muscular body, but not nearly as muscular as Emmett. He's the quiet one in their group and tends to keep to himself. His jokes hurt the most because of how quiet he is. Sometimes I feel like he only talks when the purpose is to laugh at my expense.

His mate is Alice Cullen; she's the nice one. She's only 5 feet tall and has black short hair that points in all directions. Her hazel eyes are always bright, and actually show sympathy when her friends pick on me. Too bad she's never actually done anything to stop them or show them that she thinks it's wrong. In fact she even laughs along sometimes once she thinks I've gone and can no longer see her.

Then there's her twin Edward Cullen, aka the leader of the royals. He's the king of the school and my biggest tormenter. Edward's absolutely gorgeous at 6'1'' with hair the color of a shiny penny and eyes as green as emeralds. He's ridiculously smart, funny, and my biggest bully. He goes out of his way to cause me to trip because he thinks it's funny. He's as cruel as Rosalie with his words and has never shied away from tripping me on purpose. He's also the one that started everyone picking on me back when we were in eighth grade, before that I was able to trip in peace without being laughed at and called names.

He's also the only unmated one in the group. Every time a girl turns seventeen and doesn't mate to him their dreams come crashing down. I can't imagine why, I think he'd be a horrible mate. He's arrogant, obnoxious, and I don't think he'd ever put someone before himself. Lord help the girl that mates with him eventually.

It's been almost three full months since he turned seventeen and he still hasn't mated. I could only hope that he doesn't mate until after the school year ends, because knowing him he'd end up getting his mate to join him in bullying me. Then again, maybe if he mates it'll distract him enough to leave me alone.

I didn't even realize I was so lost in thought until I feel a hard body knock into mine and I go sprawling down onto the pavement. My hands sting and as I get up I can see the scrapes on both palms. Thankfully there's no blood. Passing out is never fun.

"Shit, I'm sorry Red, I didn't see you there." Edward says with a smirk on his face that makes it obvious that not only did he see me, he bumped me on purpose.

 _No don't help me up, I'm fine._ I roll my eyes behind my hair so that he can't see and then get off the ground as quickly as I can and scurry off with my hair covering my blazing cheeks. He always calls me Red because of my blush; I don't need to show him that he's causing it to happen. I hear laughing behind me as I quickly walk into the school. That wasn't too bad, maybe they'll leave me alone for the rest of the day now.

I could only hope.

* * *

"Bye Dear, have fun in class."

"Thank you Peggy, see you tomorrow." I smile at the librarian who's the sweetest person at this school.

I leave the library with five minutes to spare so that I can get to biology before the halls fill with people leaving the cafeteria. I always eat lunch alone in the library so that I can avoid the time that I'm most likely to be made fun of. I made the mistake of eating lunch in the cafeteria freshman year of high school. By the end of the first week I vowed to never eat there again. The royals managed to get my lunch spilled all over me all five days. Safe to say I pack my own lunch every day now.

Food isn't allowed in the library, but the librarian has grown fond of me over the last four years and allows me to eat there as long as I stay quiet and clean up after myself. The first week I decided to not eat in the cafeteria I didn't eat lunch at all, too afraid to go into the cafeteria and knowing that I couldn't eat in the library. I spent the week with my head down silently crying with my stomach growling every so often. That Friday Mrs. Rogers, the librarian, told me that I could eat lunch in there if I wanted, and I've been eating there ever since.

I smile at Mr. Banner as I walk into class and he greets me as I take my seat. When the bell rings I have my book out and head down as I wait for the rest of the class to enter. The one redeeming thing about this class is that I don't have a partner. Shocker I know. But it means that I get to work alone whenever we do group work so I love it.

I feel a foot kick the side of my chair and don't even have to look up to know that it's Edward. He sits behind me and starts every class by kicking my seat and making a joke that the whole class always finds hilarious before going to his seat.

"Hey Red, we missed you in lunch today." I don't even look up from my desk. Yeah right, as if anyone even noticed that I wasn't there besides his friends, and they only noticed because they weren't able to make fun of me.

"No really," he says, "Mike tripped and it wasn't nearly as funny as it would've been if it had been you." He says with a his classic crooked smirk and the whole class bursts into laughter, no doubt remembering Mike tripping, and imagining if it had been me.

"Shut up Cullen." Mike grumbles from his seat at the table next to mine as his lab partner and mate Jessica consoles him softly, by cooing about how great he is. Gross.

"Aw don't worry Mikey, it was still funny!" Edward says in a teasing tone and walks to his seat.

What a jackass.

"Good one Edward!" Lauren Malloy says as she takes her seat next to Edward. "Isabella falling would've been amusing, but at least we got to see it this morning thanks to you."

Edward laughs at the reminder. "Very true Lauren, maybe if we're lucky there'll be a repeat performance tomorrow morning." I can hear the smirk in his voice and I already make plans to get to school early tomorrow with the hopes of avoiding him.

"So, it's my birthday this Saturday." Lauren says in what I'm assuming she thinks is a sexy voice. "Seventeen."

Edward hesitates before responding, "Yeah, right, I knew your birthday was coming up." His voice sounds strained and I can't help but turn around and look at his face.

I almost burst into laughter at his expression. He has an obviously forced smile on his face, but his eyes show fear. It would serve him right to be mated with some vapid bimbo like Lauren or her right hand girl Jessica. Both of them have had their sights on Edward since puberty and they were convinced that one of them would mate with Edward. Now that Jessica and Mike mated this summer Lauren is pretty confident that there is no way that she won't end up with Edward.

"Come to my party? My parents are going to be out until past midnight and said I could do whatever I want to celebrate. The whole grade's invited." Like that was hard. The whole grade consists of only about seventy kids. "Well anyone worth inviting anyway." I knew that last comment was directed at me, but it's not like I care.

I'm not the unpopular girl that's waiting around for everyone to finally accept me and invite me to hang out. Even if Lauren had invited me I wouldn't go. I have no desire to spend time with a bunch of people who've never been nice to me. So I just roll my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief when the bell rings and Mr. Banner finally starts the lecture.

* * *

"Hey baby! How was school today?" My mom calls as she walks into the house at 4pm.

School was actually pretty tolerable until last period gym. I have it with all the royals and Lauren, aka the people that just love to make me miserable. Today was volleyball day and the six of them chose to be on one team, and of course every time the ball came over the net it was a spike at me. Not that Coach Clapp cared, even when it was obvious that even my team was lobbing it over to set them up for a nice spike. Sadly we'd be playing volleyball for the next few weeks. I don't bother telling any of this to my mom though. There's no reason to get her worked up or worried about me. My parents know that I don't have any friends and that I don't always get along with everyone at school, but I try to make it seem better than it is so that they don't worry.

"Good, how was school for you?" I look up from my homework to see that she has paint all over her face and I can't help but laugh. "Do a fun art project?"

"What?" She lifts her hand to her face and it comes away with purple paint causing her to laugh. "Oh yeah, it was a great day! It was Meagan's birthday so we all painted her cards! It was so cute! Josh made his with hearts; I think he has a crush! Maybe they'll be mated one day!" Mom gushes as she sighs dreamily.

"I think kindergarten is a little young to be deciding who people will mate with mom. Even at an older age you never know. Plus, they could always mate after high school at an older age."

"Yeah, but wouldn't that just be such a cute story to tell their kids one day? To say that even from kindergarten they knew they were destined." I roll my eyes but don't let mom see. She's a sucker for a good love story, even when it's all in her head.

"Speaking of mating, did you notice any cute unmated boys in school today?" She asks with a little smile as she settles next to me on the couch.

"You've asked me this everyday since the beginning of the school year and I'm going to give you the same answer I always do. No, and I don't want to-"

"Because if I'm lucky I won't mate until college, yes yes I know. But a mother can dream right? My little girl is going to be mating age in a week! I want grandbabies!"

"Jesus mom, I'm not even 17 yet, I think babies can wait."

"Well obviously, but you want to be able to have some fun before the kids come and you never have alone time again." She laughs as I grimace and cover my ears.

"On that note, I'm leaving." I say as I start to pack up my stuff.

"Oh calm down, you can stay, I have to go take a shower anyway. Your dad's working late tonight so it's just us. Pancakes or omelets?" I can't help but smile, it's a tradition of ours to always have breakfast for dinner when my dad's working late. Mostly because it's the only thing she can actually cook, but I love it all the same.

"Omelets, I'm craving cheese." I respond, but my mind really isn't on food, which is unusual for me. All I can think about is our conversation about mating.

It's not like it's a new conversation. I mean, everybody mates, so it's something that's always talked about. But ever since this school year started it's been thrown in my face. So many people in my grade are either mated already or of age to be mated. All anyone can talk about is who they think will mate, and who won't. One guess who most people think is doomed to be mateless for all eternity.

I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me. All my life I saw mated couples and dreamed about what my mate would be like. He'd be my best friend, my confident, and my biggest support. He'd stand up for me and make me smile even when I'm sad. He'd love me unconditionally and I'd love him in return. That's why I can't imagine myself mating to anyone in Forks High. I can't imagine anyone that could make me happy to go to school.

There also isn't a single person that hasn't laughed at me at some point, so I can't really imagine ever falling in love with one of them.

You see once you mate to someone you're stuck with them. You're whole world is tethered to them forever. It's painful when you're away from your mate for extended periods of time and you can feel what they feel to an extent. After a while the pain fades to a point where you can be away from your mate for maybe a week at a time allowing business trips and things like that, but any longer than that and the pain will start up again, and the longer you go being away from each other, the more the pain grows until eventually you pass out from it. At the beginning being separated for as little as an hour can cause pain, and discomfort will always be present unless you're touching in some way. There's no way to break the bond unless one dies, and the other one is usually a shell of themselves for rest of their life.

The reason why I've been thinking about mating so much lately is because my seventeenth birthday is this weekend, meaning next Monday I could potentially meet my mate at school. The thought terrifies me.

I don't want to become mated to anyone here, and I don't know what I'd do if I did. But it's not like I have a choice in the matter. All I can hope for is that I like the person that's chosen for me to spend my life with, and that they like me back. And that it happens far away from Forks.

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 **A/N: Hello lovely readers! Welcome to Cruel Desire! Mating stories are some of my all time favorites so I decided to give it a go with the bully to love theme!**

 **Warning you all right now. This will NOT be an easy ride to Bella's heart for Edward. He was cruel to her FOR YEARS and that doesn't go away just because he suddenly starts being nice. My Bella is no pushover and Edward is REALLY going to have to work for it to get her to even tolerate him, let alone love him. I hate stories where Edward is just forgiven as soon as he smiles at Bella because he's cute, so this is not one of those. If you can't handle a slow burn, where Edward actually changes and becomes a better human being, this story is not for you.**

 **That being said, I'm really excited about this story and I hope you all join me for the ride!**

 **Sorry if this chapter isn't the best, but it was written late and on a whim with little checking over! From here on out though everything is going to be planned ahead!**

 **Hope to see you all next chapter!**

 **-Gingy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! I'm getting a chapter up to you so quickly for two reasons!**

 **One, I'm so thankful for the amazing response to this story already after only two days!**

 **Two, I've been inspired to write because of the AMAZING MALEC KISS THAT HAPPENED ON SHADOWHUNTERS YESTERDAY! I think they've done a great job at building their relationship and that kiss killed me! I squealed so loud! I'm also really interested to see how they build their relationship considering they don't ever "come out" as being together until City of Glass (book 3.) I have high hopes!**

 **Anyway, read on for more of the adventures of Red and her bully!**

 **Summary: Mating is when you're tied to someone forever. Being away from them hurts and their emotions become yours. You belong to that person body and soul, and they belong to you. When someone turns 17 they're officially mating age. Bella can't wait to leave Forks behind and find her mate and true love. Too bad her biggest fear comes true when her mate ends up being none other than Edward Cullen, her bully.**

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Chapter 2

The rest of the week went by pretty smoothly. As always Edward kicked my chair on his way into biology class and made his daily joke to make me feel like shit. I've become such a pro at ignoring them that the only outward sign of my embarrassment is my blush. Of course that's his favorite sign. Other than that, the royals steered clear of me… mostly. Rosalie still made snide comments and gave me scathing looks, Emmett still laughed, Jasper still glared, and Alice still just watched it all. They all still laughed and joked every time I tripped on my own, and continued to make me the target of their volleyball spikes, but I never expected that to stop. The important thing was that I wasn't tripped, shoved, or the center of _cruel_ jokes.

It was the least amount of attention I could hope for, and it was one of the most peaceful weeks of my high school life so far.

I recognize that that's sad, but it's the sad truth of my life. A truth that I had accepted a long time ago.

As soon as I wake up on Friday though I know it is not going to be a good day.

My first sign is how tired I am. I couldn't fall asleep last night for the life of me. I tried reading (which I should've known wouldn't work as once I open a book I can never put it down), putting the TV on for background noise, and even counting sheep. It was after 2am when I finally fell into a fitful sleep.

I can't remember what I dreamt that well, all I remember was running, darkness, and laughter. No matter how much I ran I couldn't see anything and I could not escape the laughter. It wasn't just one laugh either, there were so many different laughs at the same time that it was deafening, and I couldn't escape it.

So it's with little energy that I climb out of bed and stumble to the shower. I manage to only trip once, and stub my toe getting into the shower, which is pretty amazing considering I can barely keep my eyes open. By the time I step out I'm feeling slightly more awake. Well, at least I can actually keep my eyes open now.

But then I glance at my watch and my eyes pop open. "Crap!"

It's already 7:10 and class starts at 7:30. Thankfully Forks is such a small town that it only takes about five minutes to get to school. Still I'm not going to be able to dry my hair, and with it being fall in Forks, it was almost guaranteed that it'd be raining today. I'll be lucky if it dries by lunch!

I quickly throw on clothes and run down the stairs to grab an apple before heading out to my truck.

As soon as I step out the door I shiver and hug my arms around my body. Did I say dry by lunch? That was wishful thinking. And it's also down pouring. Perfect. Just what I needed to make this day even better. And of course I hadn't put my hood up before I left the house, so even though I had managed to towel dry my hair a little bit, it's officially dripping wet again.

By the time I get to school every spot in the parking lot is taken except for the last row. This means I have to run to the school in the rain and try not to break my neck.

I gasp loudly as suddenly my feet fall out from under me and I land hard on my ass. "Ow. Way to go Bella. You can't not trip this one time can you?" I mutter under my breath as I hop up and run (more carefully) to the front of the school. I managed to miss falling into a puddle, but my butt was still wet. And of course since I'm wearing jeans it's vey obvious. Just my luck.

The bell rings right as I'm rounding the corner to my first class and I take a deep breath before entering the room.

Thankfully I have English first period with Mr. Varner, and as I'm basically the only one who actually reads the books for the class, he likes me.

"You okay Bella?" Mr. Varner asks with concern as I walk into the classroom probably looking like a drowned animal. All the students of the class take in my appearance and start laughing and whispering to each other.

"Looks like someone has to relearn her potty training." Emmett says with a laugh and smacks his hand on his desk obviously finding his own joke hilarious. The rest of the class laughs along with him, especially Rosalie. My face bursts into flames with embarrassment.

"I'm okay, sorry I'm late." I whisper to Mr. Banner as I move to take my seat in the first row.

"And here I thought it was impossible to make her look even more ridiculous than she normally does." Rosalie replied to Emmett causing the class to laugh again.

"Don't worry about it, I'm just happy you showed up. Who knows what I'd do without the only person who didn't sparknote the book." Mr. Banner says with a laugh ignoring Emmett and Rosalie and begins the lecture. We've just finished Jane Eyre, one of my favorite books and Mr. Varner is currently trying to engage the class in a discussion of why everything happened to Mr. Rochester and Jane, and if it was necessary for them to be together. "Both characters were brought to rock bottom and completely humbled. Only after they rose up after those experiences were they able to find peace together. Mr. Cullen!" Mr. Varner yelled when he noticed Emmett talking to Rosalie. "What is your opinion on that matter?"

I don't even turn around in my seat and I know that Emmett is staring at Mr. Varner with wide eyes that will quickly transform into a smirk. This same situation happens almost daily in every class that Emmett's in.

"Well Mr. Varner, I think that even after everything happened to them you can't erase the past so really nothing is different." Emmett said with an obvious smirk in his face.

I'll never understand how he can always answer a question in a way that's vague enough that it's obvious he doesn't really know what he's talking about, but it still makes sense and is technically correct.

"I see your point," Mr. Varner says begrudgingly. He's always trying to catch Emmett off guard; so far he has not been successful. "Anyone disagree with Emmett?" When no one answers he turns to me. "Bella?"

My face instantly flames, although I'm not sure why considering he finds a way to make me talk every class.

"I think it was necessary. Jane was so headstrong and unwilling to ask for help or give forgiveness. Everything that happened to her humbled her and allowed her to need others and offer forgiveness. Mr. Rochester was arrogant and did not take responsibility for his faults. Him losing his sight in the way he did humbled him, and gave him the opportunity appreciate others including Jane. I think he especially needed to be humbled so that he could give Jane a life she deserved." After I finish everyone is quiet and I realize how passionately I was speaking. Cue the blush.

"Very good observation Bella, I agree." Mr. Varner smiles.

"Of course she thinks that Rochester becoming blind is a good thing for their relationship, a man being blind is the only way she'd be able to get their affections." Rosalie says from the back of the row, purposefully speaking loud enough so that I can hear. Emmett guffaws and my face flames as I shrink slightly into my seat.

"What was that Miss. Hale?" Mr. Varner asks her with a raised eyebrow. I turn in my chair slightly so that I can see her when she responds. Of course she doesn't look chastened she just looks smug.

"I was just saying that I understand Bella's point. I can see why she believes she'd have to change to make a man happy and have them accept her and vice versa." She says with a winning smile targeted at me and I shrink even further down into my chair and face forward again.

"Enough of that Miss. Hale, there is no need to be rude in my class."

"Of course Mr. Varner, I'm so sorry." Her voice is dripping with sarcasm, but Mr. Varner knows it's the best he's going to get and moves on with the lesson.

As I listen to him speak I can't shake the feeling that someone's staring at me. I turn my head to see Emmett looking at me curiously. He notices me looking and gives me a smirk. Next to him Rosalie lifts one eyebrow and smirks. I immediately face forward and use my hair as a shield only to remember that it's soaking wet as it slaps me in the face. Great.

* * *

"Alright class, equipment for the lab is up front. I have to step out for a moment, but when I come back everyone should be working hard." Mr. Banner says before excusing himself from the room.

As I'm walking back to my desk with my supplies I notice Edward smirking and looking right at me. This is never a good sign. After I put everything down on my desk I go to sit down only the have my seat kicked out from under me.

Suddenly I'm going down and my arms flail out to try and latch on to something to keep me up. With a loud thud and a soft "ow," I'm on the ground.

The whole class erupts into laughter as I scramble to my feet in embarrassment. I can feel that my face is aflame and I know it's true when I hear Edward call out, "wow I knew you were clumsy, but I thought even you knew how to sit in a fucking chair without falling on your ass Red." I can't even look at him I'm so embarrassed.

Everyone's still laughing as I grab my chair and sit down and Mike's even reenacting my fall to show the people who didn't see how "priceless" my face looked. He's flailing his arms with his eyes wide and mouth gaping like a fish. I blush harder imagining myself looking like that in front of the whole class.

I feel like I could cry from embarrassment.

"God that was amazing Edward! So funny!" Lauren gushes as she flutters her eyelashes at him.

"Thanks, but you know it's not that hard to make Red here look like an idiot." He says with a laugh.

"Can you believe it's her birthday this weekend too? Good luck to whoever draws the short straw and mates with her." Lauren says with a sneer.

"Don't get ahead of yourself Laur, some people never mate. If it happens to anyone it'll be her." Jessica chimes in with a chuckle.

"As long as it's not one of us, right Edward?" Mike says and then smirks. "Although there is that saying about the quiet geeks being freaky in the sack."

Jessica glares at Mike and scoffs, she's clearly mad that her mate would even joke about being with someone other than her.

"Really Mike?" Jessica sneers.

"Oh come on babe, you know I'm only kidding. As if anyone could ever compare to you." Mike says with a wink while Edward laughs and makes the whipped sound. "Oh shove off." Mike glares at Edward.

"Plus, as if you'd even be able to enjoy it when the person looks like that." Jessica comments going back to the earlier conversation.

"So true Jess." Lauren agrees with a laugh.

Throughout this whole conversation I just keep my head down and work through my lab. It's always worse when the teachers leave the room so I was prepared for this. But I'm not prepared for the next words to leave Edward's mouth.

"Nice bra by the way Red. Although honestly no human man, or even woman for that matter, wants to see that! Put those things away before I lose my love and attraction to the female form all together!" He busts out laughing as soon as he's done.

The whole class roars with laughter and points at my chest jeering.

"Class settles down!" Mr. Banner yells as he walks into the room, but it doesn't do anything.

It's then that I look down to see that I'm wearing a white shirt and my long brown soaking hair has done an excellent job of turning it completely see through right where my boobs are. It doesn't help that I'm wearing a blue bra, which is shockingly evident through my shirt.

My eyes sting with tears. _Don't cry Bella. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing how much their words affect you._

But I can't help it. The tears come as I throw my jacket on and zip it up as high as I can. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my entire life, and that's truly saying something.

I use my sleeve to wipe the tears away not even caring who sees at this point.

"Enough!" Mr. Banner yells when the laughing continues. Thankfully I sit in the second to last row in this class so he can't see my tears. "Everybody quiet! I want this lab done by the end of the period, which is in ten minutes! Anybody who doesn't have it finished will be taking a zero!" That finally settles the class and everyone begins to work with only the occasional look, point, and laugh thrown in my direction.

"Oh my god is she crying? What a fucking loser." Lauren whispers to Edward after I sniffle slightly.

"Pathetic. You're right Lauren, lord help whatever sucker gets stuck as her mate." Edward says while making a pity clucking sound before laughing.

When the bell rings I'm up and running out of the room with tears still streaming down my face.

I bypass the gym and run straight outside to my car in the pouring rain.

I was right, today was a terrible day.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey everyone! Glad to see you all back for chapter 2! It's not too long, but I did get it up after only two days so I think it's understandable!**

 **I wanted to show a little more of how Bella is treated in school because the next school day is after her birthday!**

 **Please review! It's really motivating and it's what got you this chapter so fast! Even if you just send a :) or a quick one worded review it really means the world to me and let's me know that people are actually interested in this story!**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!**

 **Gingy**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello lovelies!**

 **I've decided to answer some questions asked in reviews that I think are worth telling everyone!**

 **Posting Schedule: I'll be posting a chapter hopefully once a week! Definitely every other week though! I don't have an actual schedule though, I just write when I have time.**

 **POV: It will all be in BPOV because I don't want us to have some special background info about Edward that she doesn't. I want us to take this journey with her and that includes only knowing what she knows. I will do some EPOV outtakes of certain chapters after the story in complete!**

 **The bullying. Okay I had more than one person tell me how chapter 2 went too far and it was unforgiveable. THIS IS A ExB HEA STORY! If you can't handle them eventually being together and B EVENTUALLY forgiving E and being able to move past everything, this is not the story for you. That being said, I purposefully wrote chapter 2 to show how cruel they can be, but to show that nothing they do is THAT unforgiveable! I'm not justifying what Edward and co. are doing. It's cruel and mean and bullying, but do people think him pulling her chair out and her falling is so much worse that them tripping her in the hall and shoving her? I've pulled out friends chairs/had them do it to me as a joke and it's really not THAT terrible. Granted what I did was will friends and Edward and Bella obviously aren't friends so it was mean and not right… but it definitely wasn't something I'd put in the category of unforgiveable. But maybe that's just me, whatever. Make up your own mind, but if you can't get over it then you probably won't enjoy this story.**

* * *

Chapter 3

"Bella honey, can you please go to the store? There's a list on the fridge of everything I need!" Mom calls out from the kitchen.

"Oh god," I groan, "Mom why are you cooking? I said I'd cook tonight!"

"I know sweetie, but I need to cook you a special meal for your birthday tomorrow!" She smiles at me as I come into the kitchen to grab the list.

Glancing at it I feel dread course through my body. "Mom, none of these ingredients really go together. Maybe we could just go out for my birthday. Let you relax tomorrow and spend more time with me." I say giving her the puppy dog eyes. Please mom!

"Don't be silly honey! Cooking won't take too long so I'll get to spend plenty of time with my favorite daughter on her oh so special birthday!"

"Only daughter." I point out with an eye roll.

"Plus, I've been working on this recipe for weeks!" She practically squeals when she says this.

I can't help but smile at her exuberance as I grab the list. "Well if you've put this much thought into it than I'm sure I'll love it." I call as I walk out of the house and go to my car.

Mom is not a good cook. If she sticks exactly to a recipe she can make a decent meal, just like anybody could, but mom likes to experiment. Whenever I ask her why she felt the need to change the original recipe by adding something crazy I always get, "but the old one was so boring!" Her idea of not being boring is adding something completely absurd to a completely good recipe. Last week she tried adding some of the fish Dad caught into meat lasagna. Mom claimed she wanted to mix our two favorites together so that we'd both be happy.

Neither of us was very happy.

Still, she loves to try out new recipes, and Dad loves to encourage her. He actually finished his entire plate of what I called "the lasagna not so fun surprise" and even asked for seconds. The smile that lit my mom's face was priceless, which is exactly why he did it. Dad would do anything for Mom. She's his mate. And mates would do anything for each other.

My parents both grew up in Forks as well and mated on my mom's 17th birthday. Which also happened to be prom night. Which also happened to be the day I was consumed. They both had gone with someone else, but as soon as they locked eyes their previous dates didn't matter.

See as soon as someone turns 17 they're eligible to mate. Charlie (my dad) had turned 17 a month before Renee (my mom) so when she turned 17 on prom night, that was that. As soon as they connected eyes over the punch bowl that was that. I was conceived less than an hour later in the back of my dad's car.

That's the thing with mating though, once it happens you're stuck. It wasn't even a big thing in Forks when my mom found out she was pregnant a month later right after graduation, because everyone knew they'd get married and be together anyway.

Mom told me once that she couldn't wait to get out of Forks once she graduated. She had plans to try and backpack through Europe and just go out and live her life. Instead she got mated, took some online classes, and stayed in Forks as a kindergarten teacher. I know she doesn't regret it, and that she's happy, but my biggest fear is to stay in Forks forever like she did, and miss out on all of the things I could do with my life.

Once someone mates their biggest concern becomes the other person. They became as important as their own life. You're no longer just thinking about you and looking out for yourself. You have to think of this other person in every choice you make, and you have to put their needs on the same level as your own.

Mated couples can feel each other's emotions. It's not like some power where you can manipulate them or your mate can choose to send their emotions out to you whenever they want. No. You always feel them, and you feel them as if they're your own.

If your mate is sad, you know because you're sad. If they're happy, you're happy. If they're in pain, you can feel it. And there's no way to break the connection.

As soon as you make eye contact with that one person you're stuck with them forever whether you want it or not.

"Hi." I shake my head to clear it and notice that Alice Cullen is standing in front of me as I walk into the store. She seems to be leaving as her arms are filled with bags of groceries. She's in her usual attire of designer jeans and a peacoat and hat that make her look European. Her makeup is done to perfection and she's wearing heels. In a grocery store. I'm not even surprised, I don't think Alice could look bad even if she wanted to, and I don't think she'd ever allow herself to walk outside if she wasn't dressed and styled to perfection.

Then there's me in my usual attire. A big raincoat that hides my baggy long sleeve shirt underneath, both of which are long enough to cover my butt. Skinny jeans and a nice ugly pair of boots that are perfect for the rainy weather of Forks. Also not a drop of makeup to be found on my face. I like to look up and let the rain fall on my face way too much to ever bother with makeup, it would just wash off.

I blink at her and don't answer. Why the hell is Alice Cullen saying hi to me? I wouldn't have even noticed her if she just kept walking and ignored me like she usually does. I go to step around her and she keeps pace with me walking back into the store. Why can't she leave me a lone to shop in peace?

"What do you want?" I bark at her and get a small sense of pleasure as her eyes bulge and her mouth pops open. She's not used to seeing me talk back, let alone have an attitude.

"I was just grocery shopping for Jasper's mom and I saw you." she holds up the bags as if to prove that she isn't lying. I have to try really hard to contain my eye roll. "Jasper's right next door getting some supplies for his dad." She explains. They mated early this summer so they should be able to be away from each other for a few hours at a time now without any pain, but I guess they don't want to test it.

Alice getting groceries for Jasper's mom isn't weird. Because of the pain that mates feel when separated for even a short time when first mated they usually end up living together. If you're still in high school that means moving in with your mate's parents or switching off whose house you stay the night at. Apparently tonight is Jasper's house night. I'll add that to a list of things I did not need or want to know.

When I don't respond she continues on in her annoyingly friendly voice but with a sympathetic tone. "I just wanted to see if you were okay. I heard about what Edward and Lauren said in your biology class, that was really mean of them."

Again I ignore her hoping she'll just leave. I do not want to talk to Alice, especially about this.

"They can be such jerks sometimes and you really don't deserve that." She looks up at me with big hopefully eyes. Is she kidding? Is this a joke? What is she expecting? Me to agree with her and laugh it off? Now I'm pissed.

"Why do you care?" I ask as I raise a brow at her and cross my arms over my chest. My tone is icy and unfeeling even to my own ears.

She actually has the nerve to act shocked. "Of course I care. I don't condone the way they treat you, I think it's terrible!"

I cut her off with a scoff. "Oh please!"

"Bella I'm serious. I've never done anything to you-"

"You're right. You've never done anything. You sit back and watch as your asshole brother, friends, and mate terrorize me on a daily basis. You never tell them to stop, you never help me, you just watch. You do nothing." I spit at her and walk around her so that I can do my shopping and just go home.

As I push past her Alice seems to unfreeze and turns to me. "I am not like them. I'm not a bully." She says with conviction. Does she actually believe this? I turn around in anger.

"And the sad thing is that you believe that, but you know what? You're just as bad as them. You're a bystander that watches but does nothing to help; you even laugh at their antics most of the time, encouraging them. You might not be the one who's physically shoving me or telling jokes at my expense, but you're still a bully Alice. MY bully. How dare you act like you give a shit when there's no one else around to judge you for it. I don't want your pity, sympathy, or anything else you'd give me. All I want from you is to stay the hell away from me." At this point I'm looking her dead in the eye and I can see that they're glassy.

"I'm no- I didn't know- I'm so sorry- I-" She's trying respond but it seems she can't find the words to say. Well that's a first for Alice.

"You didn't know what? That you're friends are such horrible people, or that I find you just as horrible?"

Alice looks like she's about to cry, but I don't feel bad. Her and her friends have made me cry so many times, let me be the cause of her tears for once.

"Just stay away from me." And with that I turn my back on her and start my shopping with a smile on my face.

I can't help it! Yes her being there annoyed me, but still, I stood up for myself! To one of the royals! I feel like jumping for joy and high fiving everyone I pass, but I just keep walking with my head held high and I don't turn back.

* * *

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Bella! Happy birthday to you!" My mom and dad sing as they wake me up the next morning. I can't help the grin on my face, I love my birthday!

"Thanks." I laugh. I can't help it! Dad has a terrible singing voice, and mom is so off key on the third birthday.

"Open your present!" Mom squeals as she shoves a wrapped box about the size of a fist into my hands.

I peel the paper back carefully to open the present without ripping any of the paper. My mom huffs at the slowness of it, but my dad just laughs, kisses her on the temple, and then smiles down at me.

"Every year she gets antsy when you open presents." He laughs and my mom just scowls.

"I like to open them slowly, what's wrong with that?"

"Everything! You should be ripping into the paper to see what you got! You should be that excited! Like a kid on Christmas!" My mom states while using her arms to mimic ripping into a present.

"This is how this kid," I say pointing to myself, "opened presents on Christmas."

My mom just huffs again. "I'll never understand why."

"Because she's a Swan through and through!" Dad says proudly and I have to laugh at their antics. Married for 17 years and when they're together they still act like the teenagers in love that they were when they met.

When I finally get the wrapping paper off I see that it's a jewelry box. I open it slowly and almost gasp when I see what's inside. It's a gorgeous silver necklace with two swans with their necks craning to make a heart. I love it.

"It's from both of us. We know that you're turning seventeen now, and that means that at any moment you could find your mate and start your new life." Mom says as she looks at me with tears in her eyes. "But we want you to know that no matter what happens, we'll always love you and always be here for you." She finishes taking my dad's hand in her own.

"No matter what." Dad agrees with a slight nod of his head and a small smile.

I lunge at them taking them both into a hug. "I love you guys so much! No matter what I'll always be a Swan at heart." I promise while trying to put the necklace on.

"Here let me." Mom says and clasps it around my neck.

"Beautiful."

The rest of the day in wonderful. Dad got off work all day so that we could all spend the day together. We drive to Port Angelus so that I can go to the bookstore. They let me pick out five new books and I'm over the moon. We laugh and joke and just genuinely enjoy our time together.

Every time I pass a boy I'm slightly jumpy. Will he be the one? Will I always be nervous every time I meet a new guy thinking that he could potentially be my mate?

When we get home for dinner, Mom surprises me with a gourmet meal and dessert that is so delicious that I can't move for a solid hour afterwards because of how much I've eaten. Apparently she enlisted the help of Esme Cullen to cook for my birthday, something Esme was all too happy to help with.

Esme might have given birth to the devil, but she was a complete saint. She's always so nice and generous in everything she does, along with her husband Carlisle who I know pretty well due to practically living in the hospital. How two wonderful people like them raised such heartless children I'll never know.

Anyway, Esme was Forks' resident chef, she didn't have a business or anything, but if someone needed help cooking or baking they went to her. Apparently Mom mentioned to Carlisle during her annual checkup this past week that it was my seventeenth birthday this weekend. He told Esme and Esme called mom begging to cook something special for me. I'll have to do something to thank her. It truly was an incredible meal.

"Do you need help clearing the table?" I ask as Dad grabs my dishes and brings them into the kitchen.

"No, no, it's your day, no dishes for you."

"Well that's a hardship I'll just have to learn to live with." I joke as I move into the living room to get comfy on the couch. We're about to start a move. Pride and Prejudice since it's my choice.

"Yeah yeah smartass, we all know you love doing dishes." Mom jokes as she comes and sits beside me.

"Before we start the movie your father and I have some things we'd like to discuss with you." Mom says as Dad comes back into the room and sits on his beloved chair. "You're seventeen now Bella, and that means that you can find your mate at any time. We know that they talk about it in school but we wanted to know if you have any questions, or if there's anything you want to know more about."

I feel my cheeks heat at the mention of this topic. This line of conversation makes me slightly uncomfortable but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have some questions.

"You can ask us anything sweetie." Dad says when he notices my blush. Like me, he isn't a huge fan of conversation so he must realize how awkward I feel.

"Is the pain of separation really that bad at the beginning? I don't know how comfortable I'll be having someone with me every second of the day like that. You know me, I need time alone." It's true. Being around people all the time exhausts me, I need my personal space and alone time.

"It's not like you'll die from being separated, but yes, it is very uncomfortable to be away from your mate, especially in the beginning." Dad says. "As soon as you're no longer touching them you'll feel the loss and discomfort but you'll be able to manage for a while. It'll be more of an uncomfortable feeling when you're completely separated at first, but if you stay away for as long as a half an hour at the early stages, you'll feel so nauseous that you'll be sick, dizzy, and experience migraines. You could potentially even pass out from the pain. This is why you should be with each other as much as possible and try to remain touching. After the first week you can go up to an hour being separated. By the end of the first year you should be able to go a full day, and the time increases after that, but you'll never be able to go more than a week." Dad states in his no nonsense cop voice.

Mom smiles and rolls her eyes in a fond way. "Don't let him make it sound so scary. As long as you aren't far from each other the pain won't start up so badly. Yes not touching makes you slightly uncomfortable, but that isn't something that ever goes away, so you'll get used to it. Look at your father and I now, we aren't touching and we haven't been for a good portion of the day and neither of us are in pain. It's slightly uncomfortable yes, but we are so used to it that it become less of a discomfort when we are separated and more of a lovely feeling of content and relief when we are touching. A feeling of being complete and whole if you will." Mom says as she smiles at Dad. "As for being completely separated, as long as you're close enough that you can still feel the other one, it'll only be the discomfort of not touching."

"What do you mean feel the other one? You just said it's not touching." How can I feel someone if I'm not touching them?

"I meant feel them, as in their emotions." Mom giggles.

"Oh right." Of course that's what she meant. How could I forget about that perk of mating?

"There's no science as to how far someone can go and still feel their mates emotions, it's different for everyone. For your mother and I We can be anywhere in this house and still feel each other. We haven't tested it much past that."

"What's it like to be able to feel each others emotions? How long did it take you to get used to it?" I don't know how I'll be able to handle suddenly feeling emotions that don't belong to me.

"It was kind of scary at first. I'd be happy and then randomly I'd be angry and my thoughts wouldn't line up with my emotions at all."

"It was especially weird for me when your mother was pregnant. I'd feel her crazy emotions, but without knowing why I was suddenly feeling these things." Dad smirks.

"Oh hush." Mom playfully glares at him and then gets back to the topic at hand. "It's easy to know what's your emotions and what's your mates. Their emotions are not exactly as strong as your own, and you can almost feel it being pushed on to you. It's hard to describe, it's something that you have to experience to completely understand."

"Once you get used to it you'll be able to acknowledge their emotions without giving into them and letting them effect you if you don't want to. It's just a nice way to know how your mate is feeling so that you can understand where they are and if they need your help." Dad smiles at Mom as he finishes and I can't help but smile at the two of them. The mating bond certainly got it right when it paired them up.

"Alright I think you've answered all of my questions. Now it's time for some Lizzie and Darcy!" I smile and I hear my dad groan as I hit play. I know he's pretending though. We watch this movie every year on my birthday and even he gets a huge smile on his face when Mr. Darcy confesses his love for Lizzie. He is a romantic after all!

The movie starts and there's Keira Knightley aka Elizabeth Bennett reading a book.

* * *

"Rumor has it that the whole male student body is trying to avoid you on the off chance that you're their mate." Rosalie Hale says as she walks by me in English to get to her seat.

"Babe don't lie, only the unmated male student body, us mated men don't have to avoid her." Emmett adds with a laugh.

"Very true. Just be happy that you mated to me and don't have to worry about getting stuck with her."

"I'm glad that I mated to you for many reasons Rosie. Not having to worry anymore about my mate is just one of the perks." He finishes with a smacking kiss on her lips.

Wow, they're so cute as they confess their love by insulting me. Please note the sarcasm.

Thankfully Mr. Varner comes in and starts the lecture on Jane Eyre allowing me to tune everything else out and ignore the annoying royals sitting at the back of the class.

The periods before lunch all run smoothly. I don't see any royals except for Alice and Jasper who pass me in the hall, glaring the whole way I might add. Seems like someone's still bitter over the chat we had this weekend. Although I don't think glaring daggers at me in any way proves that she's a nice little angel that has nothing to do with my misery, but whatever. I just ignore her as I usually do and even find myself slightly smirking as I walk by. At least I know my conversation with her actually affected her, even if it wasn't in a way that would be beneficial for me.

Peggy wishes me a happy belated birthday and even gives me a small card she made for me which includes a twenty-dollar bill. I try to give it back to her exclaiming that she didn't need to get me anything, but she refuses to take it back.

"A nice girl like you deserves all the presents in the world on her seventeenth birthday." She says with a fond smile, one that I can't help giving back.

"Thank you Peggy. I'll put this money to good use." I say as I head out of the library before the bell rings like always.

"Put it to good use by spending it on something fun!" She calls after me with a laugh as I go to biology and I can't help but giggle back.

I take my seat and take out my notebook smiling to myself. Only two more periods of the day and then I can go home with the absolute certainty that no one in Forks is my mate.

Lauren walks in alone and I can't hold back the smirk. Looks like someone didn't mate on her birthday, such a shame considering she apparently invited every eligible man to her birthday party. Although I was hoping that Edward would mate with her, just because I knew how much he was afraid that he would, and because I truly think they deserve each other.

"What the fuck are you smiling about nerd?" Lauren sneers as she walks by my desk to sit at hers. "Enjoy spending your birthday alone with your zero friends?" She laughs and Jessica joins in.

I roll my eyes and turn my head back down to focus on my notebook.

 _Do not engage Bella. That's just what she wants, and she is not worth it._

I take calming breaths and curse her in my mind instead of doing it out loud like I'd love to do. She isn't worth a detention; she isn't even worth my anger.

I feel a presence standing over me followed by a light kick to my chair. "How's it going Red? I hear you ran into my sister this weekend, seems you weren't very nice."

I pride myself in being able to ignore Edward and his asshole tendencies. He always does this at the start of biology, I never engage and he goes away just as quickly as he came. But I am not going to just let him bring up this thing with his sister as if I'm the bully because I finally stood up to her. I was not in the wrong in that conversation and while I'll let him say things to and about me, I will not let him turn me into the mean one, into the bully.

"I wasn't nice? Are you kidding? She-" but my sentence cuts off as I finally look up from my notebook into the angry beautiful green eyes of my bully. I never noticed how beautiful they are. And they aren't just green either; it looks like there are golden specks in them too.

I feel like there's an invisible cord between us tying us together and making me want to be even closer to him. I want to touch him.

Suddenly I feel relief course through me, only it's not really my own relief. It feels like it's coming from somewhere else. Then the relief is gone and in its place its shock, disbelief, and disgust. This time though it's not just coming from somewhere else. I feel it myself too. Because in this moment I know what just happened.

I just mated with Edward Cullen, my bully.

 _Fuck me._

 **A/N: Holy mating batman! So it's officially happened! Sorry to leave it off the way I did, but I feel like it's necessary to end the chapter dramatically with the mating occurring **cue maniacal laughter****

 **Sorry for the wait for this chapter, but the next one will be up either later this week or next week! See top of the page A/N about posting schedule.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed seeing Bella standing up for herself with Alice! I wanted to put that in to show that just because Bella classified Alice as being the 'nice one' doesn't mean she likes her, or thinks that she isn't a bully. She is. Being a bystander can be just as bad as being the one doing the bullying.**

 **I also hope you all liked getting some more information about how the mating actually occurs and what it entails! We'll get some more info as we go, but for the record, no mating does not equal love. Yes it will cause attraction and some feelings because suddenly this person is very important to you and you can feel their emotions, but you still have to fall in love yourself, the mating bond doesn't do that.**

 **Please send reviews! I answer every single one of them (unless you're a guest because I can't, sorry.), and I do answer all questions I receive! Reviews make my day so please leave me some love! Even if it's one simple word or a smiley :)**

 **-Gingy**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I said either last week or this week and it's still technically this week so I made it guys lol! Sorry that the update took so long, but I'm in the last two weeks of the semester before finals which means a lot of papers and last minute work in all of my classes :/**

 **On the plus side, this means that in a few weeks I'm done with school and I'll have plenty of time to write :)**

 **For people wondering how Bella and Edward will mate yet not immediately be in love and have to work for that, the bond will make them feel lust, not love. There is a HUGE difference between the two even if we don't always recognize that. You need to truly know someone and accept them in order to be in love with them and not just in lust with them. The bond causes lust, desire, and an unbreakable connection, however the couple needs to talk and get to know each other on a more personal level for the feelings to develop into love. A lot of people seem to be really confused about this for some reason…**

 **Now on with the chapter! I know you've all been waiting for this one!**

* * *

Chapter 4

 _No. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!_

This cannot be happening! This has to be a joke. There's no way that the word would make me mate with Edward Cullen. Not even my pessimistic ass believes that the world is this cruel. Someone please pinch me, I'm having the worst nightmare of my life!

Edward keeps opening and closing his mouth as if he wants to say something but can't find the right words. So many emotions are coming from him at once that I can't even tell what he's feeling and it's getting harder to distinguish his emotions from my own.

I'm certain that everyone in the room can hear my heart; it's beating so loudly that I can hear it ringing in my ears. I can feel my scalp prickling and my palms growing sweaty with my nerves. My throat goes dry and I can feel goose bumps taking over my arms as if there was a sudden chill in the room. There's also suddenly a feeling of discomfort in my chest, as if there's something missing and I just never knew it until this moment in time.

Before I know it my hand is on my chest and rubbing over my heart, trying to make the discomfort disappear. I see that Edward's arm mirrors mine as he also rubs his chest, but I don't think he even notices he's doing it.

He leans forward almost unconsciously and suddenly his fingers are brushing against my arm. We both sigh in content and I feel the tension leaving me as my whole body relaxes. I feel a small amount of pleasure coming from him, and even worse, I feel pleasure myself.

The discomfort is completely gone.

Without even meaning to, a small smile comes onto my face at the feeling of pleasure and the lack of discomfort. _That's much better._ Edward's face mirrors mine as the left corner of his mouth quirks up in a little bit of a crooked smile.

I've never seen Edward smile like this before. His face looks so soft and almost kind. It's kind of… charming. And disarming as well.

I feel like my heart skips a beat as the full effect of his smile hits me and his smile widens as my emotions hit him and he realizes that he's affecting me.

"Dude, why're you staring at Swan like that?" I hear Mike ask in an unsure voice. "And why the fuck are you touching her?" He says in obvious disgust. Mike's voice breaks whatever spell I seem to be under and I tear my eyes away from Edward and look at the students around us.

Suddenly the quiet that just surrounded me is gone as people whisper and point at us as they start to realize what's happening. That their golden boy and hottest bachelor just mated with the most hated girl in school.

 _No, no, no! It's just a fluke! It's not real. I can escape this!_ But even I know that's not true. For heaven's sake, I actually just thought of Edward's smile as charming! That's how seriously not fake this is! I've never thought of his smile as anything other than pretentious and obnoxious before! I want to scream in frustration, or cry, or hit something.

 _What is happening to me?_

I hear a loud gasp and turn in my chair to see Lauren frozen in her seat with her eyes wide as she looks quickly from Edward to me and back again. Lauren who was so sure that Edward was her destined mate. I would laugh at the situation if I weren't so mortified about the fact that I'm the one who got stuck with him instead. When our eyes connect she seems to break out of her shock.

"Her? Are you kidding me? Edward, tell me you did not just mate with this, this freak!" She screeches and I feel embarrassment flame through me, especially as even the students who haven't caught on before now turn around to stare at us with obvious shock on their faces. Some of them look at us with pity, and what makes it worse is that I know I'm not the one they pity even though I got stuck with my bully as my mate. They actually pity _Edward_ for getting stuck with _me_.

What is wrong with the world?

What makes it worse is that my embarrassment seems to be doubled, as Edward seems to be feeling the embarrassment as well. I don't think my face has ever been this red before, but on the plus side I can see Edward's face becoming pink as he blushes as well.

Finally my embarrassment is negatively affecting someone other than me. _If I'm going down I'm taking him with me!_ Maybe I should start calling him pink. I'm sure he'd really like that.

The whispering gets louder and when I look at the front of the class I see that even Mr. Banner is staring at us with wide eyes. His jacket is still halfway on as he froze as soon as he realized what happened. I can tell that he doesn't really know what to do in this situation. My guess is that no one has ever mated in a classroom before considering most students usually hang out either outside or in the main hallway before school starts. Too bad those are exactly the places that I avoid at all costs.

My eyes dart away from Mr. Banner and once again towards the other students as some of their whispers start to reach my ears.

"Poor Edward!" Jessica whispers to Mike. He just nods at her, still in shock.

"How did a guy like him get stuck with a girl like _her_?" A girl in the front of the class named Amanda says to her lab partner Greg.

"I'm just happy it wasn't me!" He says back to her with a slightly relieved laugh.

The whispering continues and there's not a single word being said that isn't disbelief or pity towards Edward. My eyes continue to dart around the room as the whispers get louder and louder.

I feel like a cornered animal because of all the stares and whispers. I want to bolt, I want to hold my head high, I want to hide.

I feel anger coming from next to me and I return my gaze to Edward. He's glaring at his hand that's still resting on my arm. Seeing him glare at me like that makes my own anger rise in me. Well, at least it's better than the embarrassment and fear I was just feeling. He must feel my anger rising too because his eyes immediately snap up and connect with my own.

Green on brown.

I feel his confusion and his eyes reflect that emotion exactly. "Bella-" But whatever he's going to say is cut off by the bell ringing and signaling the beginning of the period.

Both of us jump at the sound causing his hand to slip off my arm and the discomfort to come back full force. Both of our hands immediately shoot up to our chests and rub. When he moves his other hand back towards my arm I automatically flinch away from him and I feel slight annoyance coming through our bond and his eyes narrow at me.

But I don't care if he's annoyed with me, I do not want him touching me right now.

 _Did he seriously think that I would welcome his touch? That I would just suddenly forget who he is and what he's done to me and just beg him to touch me?_

I'm extremely jumpy so when I go to grab my notebook I almost lurch forward and I end up knocking my chair over, but for once I don't care that I'm drawing even more attention to myself. Everyone's still staring at me anyway. Mr. Banner hasn't even tried to call attention to the front of the room or start a lesson. He's still frozen staring at us along with the rest of the class.

I clutch my notebook to my chest, grab my backpack, and push past Edward as I bolt out of the classroom as everyone just continues to stare. Mr. Banner doesn't even try to prevent me from leaving, not that it would do anything. There's no way I could stay in that room for even a second longer.

I sprint down the hallway and manage to make it to the front doors without tripping before I feel a hand wrap around my arm forcing me to stop and spinning me around so that I'm face to face with Edward.

Even if I hadn't been turned around I would know it was him due to the sudden lack of discomfort and rush of pleasure.

I sneer at him as I yank my arm free from his grip, ignoring the sudden uncomfortable feeling in my chest as well as the annoyance radiating from his body.

"Do not touch me!" I snap.

His eyes narrow in a glare for only a second before he schools his features with his usual cocky smirk. If I couldn't feel how annoyed he is I might actually believe that he's calm.

"Red has a backbone, who knew?" His smirk only grows as he feels my anger flare.

"Don't call me that."

He continues on as if I never even spoke. "Wow your face gets red when you're angry too. Interesting."

My nostrils flare as my glare grows in intensity. Why is he such an ass? And at a time like this! I am so not in the mood for his shit right now. My anger is so severe that I let out a small grunt as I turn on my heel and storm out of the building.

I don't even make it out from underneath the overheard before Edward once again spins me around. His dumb smirk is no longer on his face and he is now fully displaying his annoyance.

"What?" I practically growl at him.

"What do you mean 'what?' Where the hell are you going?" His answer is also said in a growl.

"Away from you." I say like it's obvious, which really it is. For a guy who's actually pretty smart you'd think he would've figured this out.

I try to turn again but this time he doesn't let go of my arm.

"Smart move Red, let's run away from each other even though it'll bring us immediate pain." He scoffs and the annoyance and anger I'm feeling is now so strong that I can no longer tell what's my emotion and what's his.

"I told you not to call me that asshole." His eyes widen for a second at my attitude and I can feel his shock and amazement; I've never stood up for myself around him before. Then his eyes narrow and his anger and annoyance return on full blast. "And I'd rather be in pain than be forced to be around you." I say with as much malice as I can manage. I want him to understand exactly how much I hate him. "Plus," I add with a smirk, "it's only a small discomfort. I never knew you were so weak." If there's one thing I know about men it's that they take a shot to their ego and pride like it's a deathblow.

"I'm not weak," he immediately gripes in anger, "I'm just not an idiot. I didn't think you were either, but apparently I'm wrong." And now I'm seething. "You know the pain will only get worse." Then as if it's an after thought he adds, "It's not like I'm exactly jumping at the chance to be around you either,"

"Then we are in agreement. Let's not be around each other. Now let. Me. Go."

"No. You're being unreasonable. I know neither of us are happy with this situation, but running away isn't the answer." A part of me knows that he's right, but I don't care. So what if I feel pain, I feel pain every day at the hands of him and his friends. Let him feel it because of me for a change.

"Fine. Let go, I won't run." I say with a raised eyebrow.

"You can't fool me Bella. I can feel your determination." When he uses my name instead of his stupid nickname I feel a small burst of pleasure, but it's immediately wiped away with the rest of his sentence and my annoyance returns.

"You're not going to let me go are you?" I ask with disdain. I really don't know why he's being so difficult. It's not like he actually wants anything to do with me.

"Never." He says it like a promise and now he's the one feeling determination. His green eyes burn into mine and I feel my breath escapes me as I see the earnestness in his eyes.

 _What the hell does_ that _mean?_

I can feel his own confusion as he registers exactly what he said and how he said it and I use it to my advantage. Before he can prepare himself I grab him by the shirt and yank him forward so that we are no longer under any covering and the rain is pelting us.

"What the-" Edward let's go of me in order to lift his hands in an attempt to shield himself from the rain. I push him away and immediately turn away from him and take off into a sprint to my car. My keys are out already and if I can just get to my car I'll be in the clear. Unlike me, Edward doesn't bring his whole backpack to class, which means he doesn't have his keys with him. If I can just make it to my car and get it started, he'll have to go back inside to grab his keys and I'll have a huge head start away from him.

My breathing is heavy as I run and my heart is pounding in my chest so hard that it feels like it's about to explode. The rain and wind are whipping my hair, but I ignore it as I hurl my body forward and away from Edward.

"Bella! Stop! You're being ridiculous!" Edward shouts and I can hear in his voice that he's now running too.

 _Do not trip Bella! Not now! Run your heart out and DO NOT TRIP!_

It must be a miracle, but I somehow make it to my truck and get it unlocked and running with Edward still about twenty feet away. I throw it in reverse and slam my foot on the gas and back up before Edward has the chance to get behind my car to prevent me from leaving. I shift into drive and peel out of the parking lot as I see Edward still running after me in the rearview mirror.

His mouth is moving quickly as he screams at my moving truck and I can feel his anger, frustration, and desperation as I drive away. I notice that his pants are soaking wet, even more than the rest of him. He must have fallen into a puddle when I pushed him away, no wonder he didn't reach me before I got to my car.

As soon as I'm out of the parking lot I can no longer feel Edward's emotions. The relief I feel is instant and strong, but it's short lived. As soon as I no longer feel his emotions a slight headache starts to form.

It's not strong by any means, but it's concerning how immediate it is. Although I guess it's not that surprising considering that we mated less than ten minutes ago.

Less than ten minutes ago. Holy crap.

Now that I'm finally alone it really hits me.

I mated to Edward Cullen. I will be stuck with him for the rest of my life with no way out. I'll be forced to live with him, and to be constantly close to him, and constantly touching him.

I can feel myself deflate as the fight leaves me and the tears finally come to my eyes and fall freely. Tears are not a good combination with the rain. I can barely see out of my windshield and pulling over is not an option. I know that Edward is probably reaching his car now to come after me and knowing how fast he drives it won't take that long for him to catch me. I just continuously wipe my tears away and put my windshield wipers on as fast as they can go.

Thankfully where I'm going isn't far and Edward doesn't know me well enough to know where I go when I need an escape. Hell, he doesn't know me at all.

I grumble slightly and deflate at that thought.

Edward doesn't know me at all. My mate doesn't know me at all. The guy who is supposed to be my best friend and biggest support in this world not only doesn't know me, but he's made my life a living hell since eighth grade. He hates me and I hate him.

 _Why did this have to happen like this? Why did it have to be him?_

I take a sharp right onto a path leading into the woods by my house and make sure to drive in as far as I can so that the trees shield my truck in from anybody that might drive by on the street.

I crack the front passenger side window slightly so that air can flow through the truck without all the rain coming in and then turn it off. Just in time too, not even two minutes later I can hear a car driving by the street quickly going it the direction of my house. I'm pretty confident it's Edward but thankfully as he's such a fast driver he's gone by my spot in less than a second which doesn't give us enough time to pick up on the other person's emotions which means he won't know he drove by me.

I blow out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding and I feel a sense of relief overwhelm me.

 _He's gone. I'm free. I'm safe._ But in the back of my mind a voice whispers, _for now._

I know that voice is right. I know I'll have to face Edward eventually. The bond is unbreakable and the pain will become too much to keep running, but for now running will work. At least until my parents come home from work so that they can be my rocks through this.

I need my mom as a shoulder to cry on and to tell me everything is going to be okay. And I need my dad to be make me feel safe and to be his usual protective self. I just really need my mom and dad.

Thankfully I have a blanket in the back seat of my truck because I lay it down on the grass whenever I drive out here and walk to my spot. It's too rainy to go there now, so I'll just have to settle for curling up in my blanket in the backseat.

The headache is getting worse and I'm starting to feel nauseous but I try to ignore it as I lay down in the backseat.

It's completely silent except for the sound of the rain falling on the truck and my sniffles and sobs.

I'm completely alone.

I cry myself to sleep.

* * *

I wake up with a start and thankfully I'm lying down otherwise I would have fallen over due to how dizzy I am.

My head is throbbing. At first I think it's just because I cried myself to sleep, but the pain is way too severe for that. It feels like someone is taking a hammer to my head non-stop from every single angle.

I groan loudly and immediately regret it. The vibrations of that groan coupled with the noise just sends me into an even worse spiral of pain.

The nausea increases and I quickly roll over onto my side and throw up right on the floor of my truck. Of course rolling over only made the dizziness worse and I throw up again.

Tears are streaming down my face and I curl my body into a fetal position with my right arm wrapped around my head trying to stop the painful throbbing, while my left hand rests on my chest and rubs my chest where it feels like I've been split open.

I feel like I'm dying.

I look at my left arm so that I can read my watch and see that it's 3:50 in the afternoon. Perfect. Mom will be home in ten minutes. I know I should get my phone and call her, tell her where I am and to come get me, but I can't think clearly. I can't remember where my phone is and my vision is blurred from the crying and dizziness. Getting up to look for it isn't an option either. It's okay though, I'll be fine. When mom realizes I'm not home she'll call me, and when I don't answer she'll freak out and call my dad and they'll look for me.

That's a positive of having overprotective parents, they freak out when they don't know where I am at all times.

It's also a positive of not having any friends or doing any after school activities. I always come straight home after school so they'll be suspicious when I'm not home.

I'll be fine. They'll find me and everything will be just fine.

All thought leaves me as the pain suddenly intensifies.

All there is is pain. I can't think of anything else. There is nothing else.

I scream and cry as the pain courses through me at excruciating levels.

And then darkness washes over me.

* * *

 **A/N: WOO! That one took me a while to write! It's hard to make it perfect since I know everyone had such high expectations for this, but I hope I did it justice! We got to see some people's reactions including Lauren, but we didn't see too much of it because I really just wanted to focus on Bella and Edward for right now. As we can see he's still an ass and he's not exactly thrilled about this match either. Of course Bella is even less thrilled for obvious reasons.**

 **Next chapter we will get to see all the family's reactions! Yes this means Charlie, Renee, Esme, Carlisle, and even Alice! And possibly Jasper as well considering he can't be away from Alice for more than a few hours.**

 **I hope to get the next chapter up either next week or the week after, but next week is my last week of classes and the week after is my finals week so it really just depends on if I have the time to sit down and write.**

 **FIC RECOMMENDATION**

 **Against The Grain by xSuchSweetNothingx THIS IS THE STORY THAT PARTIALLY GAVE ME THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS FANFIC! This also takes place in a world where mating is normal! The school nurse who's only briefly in one chapter mentions how her mate actually used to be her bully and I've wanted to read/write that story ever since! It's around 40 chapters but they're really short so it's a very quick and fun read! Give it a go, here's the summary :)**

 **Summary:** **Everyone is half of a whole, and on the day of your sixteenth birthday you find your other half, and your life changes dramatically after that. I would love to give the genius that came up with that idea a piece of my mind . . . AU. Edward x Bella. High School. Mature Language. Drabble.**

 **So anyway I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please send me some love, I'm needy like that!**

 **Gingy**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: New Chapter! WOOHOO!**

 **I want to thanks everyone who has been patient with me and who wished me luck on my finals! I aced them, which is awesome!**

 **I know this update is a little late but I've had my friend's graduation, my own 21** **st** **birthday, moving back home, and a lot of other stuff going on in my life so that you (or most of you) for being understanding and amazing! I know how frustrating it can be waiting for someone to update. I've been there. Hell, I'm currently there, so again thank you for being patient!**

* * *

Chapter 5

The first thing I register is that I'm not in any pain. The next thing I notice is that I'm really warm and lying down in a really comfortable bed.

My eyes snap open as soon as that thought registers. My bed is not nearly this comfortable.

I have to shut my eyes right away because they're not used to the sunlight that's pouring in due to the fact that one whole wall of the room I'm in is glass.

"Bella honey, how are you feeling?" The voice of my mom comes from right next to me and I feel her grab my hand with her own. I open my eyes to see her sitting in a chair right next to the bed and she's nudging Charlie who's sleeping in a chair next to hers. "Charlie get up, Bella's awake!" She says to him as he wakes up with a grunt. I can hear the relief in her voice and with further inspection I can see that her eyes are red from crying.

His eyes flicker around the room and then immediately fall onto me. When he sees that I'm awake he jumps up and lays his hand on top of Mom's giving a squeeze of his own.

"You got us worried there kiddo." He says in a gruff voice with a slight smile of relief on his face.

"Sorry." And I mean it. I really hate worrying my parents.

I feel the bed shift next to me and suddenly there's an arm being thrown across my stomach and a nose being nuzzled into my neck. I immediately tense up and turn my head to the side to come nose to nose with Edward Cullen.

My worst fears are confirmed and I realize that I didn't just wake up from a terrible nightmare. I really did mate with this… this… monster.

A silent tear slides down my cheek as I turn my head back so that I'm looking up at the ceiling. Why me?

My parents immediately notice and my dad wipes the tear away.

"Honey what's wrong? Are you in pain? Carlisle!" My mom speaks frantically. That's when I notice that on chairs next to Edward's side of the bed sit his parents.

"Bella are you in pain? You shouldn't be because you're with Edward now but are you physically injured?" Carlisle asks in full on doctor mode as he let's go of Esme's hand and comes to stand beside me with a concerned look on his face.

When I don't answer my mom becomes even more frantic. "Bella? Why isn't she responding Carlisle? Is she okay? You said she'd be okay!" She's on the verge of tears and I can't take it.

I hop up from the bed and then immediately feel woozy and fall back down. Unfortunately by me ending the physical contact Edward and I share actually causes him to wake up with a start. I can feel his surprise as he takes in the scene around him.

"Edward thank god!" Esme cries as she hugs him.

"You gave us quite a scare there son." Carlisle smiles as he pats Edward on the back.

Meanwhile my parents are freaking out about the fact that I just collapsed back onto the bed. They're frantically talking over each other as they ask me if I'm okay and try to adjust me on the bed.

"What is going on?" I finally shout unable to take anymore and all conversation stops. I feel the relief coming off of Edward as his parents finally stop bombarding him with questions.

I'm already starting to feel a headache coming on due to the lack of contact with Edward and he must feel it too because he reaches out and takes my hand into his. I want to yell at him and snatch my hand away, but the loss of the thumping in my brain is such a relief that I can't fight it. I hate myself a little for that. So I settle on sending him a slight glare before turning my attention back to the four adults sitting in the room.

"What happened?" I ask when it seems like no one is going to answer my question.

"I got home from work and found Edward here laying on the porch." Mom starts explaining. "I was so confused. He's never been to the house before and your truck wasn't in the driveway. I just knew something was wrong." She hunches in on herself as if reliving the fear she felt in that moment and Dad's immediately there and wrapping his arms around her in silent comfort and support. "I immediately ran over to him see what was wrong and he was barely conscious. He could barely get your name out in between groans of agony. Right away I knew what had happened."

A rush of pain comes from next to me as Edward remembers the agony he suffered through during this time. I feel a sense of dread and pain as well as I'm reminded of how terrible the separation was for me as well.

Dad takes over for Mom obviously feeling her pain at reliving these events. "Your mom called all of us so that we would know what was going on. Carlisle told her to bring Edward back to their house as it was his day off from the hospital and he could help you both here. He thought it would be more comfortable. She brought him straight over and I left work right away to go find you." He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them I can see the pain and fear. "Thank god you were in your usual spot Bells or I have no idea if we would've found you."

He leans forward and gives my forehead a kiss and I wrap the arm that isn't being held by Edward around his neck in a hug.

"Thankfully your father found you quickly and brought you back here." Carlisle says.

"Good thing I'm the chief of police otherwise I would've been thrown into jail because of speed I was driving." My dad cracks a joke and I give him a slight quirk of the lips. Typical Charlie to use humor when things are getting too emotional for him.

I can feel amusement coming from Edward as well as a stronger sense of gratitude. He's thankful to my dad for breaking the tension slightly. I look over curiously to see him smiling at his mom who let out a slight laugh at my dad's joke.

Wow, the demon has a heart, who knew?

"You two had been separated for hours. That's not healthy for a couple who has been mated for months, let alone who had just mated the same day! We put you in bed with physical contact in place and waited. Sadly that's all you can do in this situation. Of course we had to keep you in constant supervision in case you lost contact. And I had to put an IV in each of you twice to keep you nourished. Luckily I was able to take a few days off from work and I already had all the supplies here. I figured you'd be more comfortable waking up here instead of a hospital."

He had to give us IVs to keep us nourished? I feel fear spike through me, and Edward mirrors my emotions.

"How long have we been asleep?" Edward asks the question that I'm too afraid to utter.

"A little over three days." Esme speaks for the first time. "God, they were the longest three days of my life! We were all so scared!" She wails as she collapses on Edward. Sadness rushes through both of us as we take in the sight of Esme in tears.

Edward pats her back and whispers in her ear about how he's okay and not in any pain.

"Three days." I whisper to myself. Holy cow. I can't believe that I've been unconscious for three days.

"Yes three days. Your bodies needed time to recuperate after the separation it went through. You're both very lucky we found you when we did. A few more hours and you would've died." A heavy silence follows Carlisle's statement.

How could I have been so stupid? I almost _died_! And for what? To avoid the tragic reality of my life for a few hours? I feel so stupid and angry with myself. But even more I'm agree that running away didn't magically solve my problems and save me from the terrible mating.

Edward must feel my self-hatred because suddenly I feel a mixture of smugness and pity coming from him and he squeezes my hand. I level him with a glare. I do not want pity from him ever. And of course he'd be able to feel smug about us almost dying. What a fucking asshole!

"Now why were you two separated?" Esme asks as she looks upon us both with confusion clear on her face. The three other adults also look at us in confusion. They probably can't understand why you'd ever be separated from your mate.

I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes out. Luckily I'm saved from answering when the bedroom door loudly bangs open and a frantic Alice bursts through the door with Jasper following closely behind her. She launches herself onto the bed and hugs Edward in a death grip as she cries loudly. Edward grunts loudly as his sister crashes into him, but I can feel the love he feels towards her coming through the bond as he hugs her back.

"I thought you were dead!" Alice wails as she clutches Edward tightly as if she never plans to let go of him. "Seeing you lying on the bed unconscious for days was terrible. Don't you ever do that to me again."

"I'm sorry Ali." Edward tries to sooth her as he rubs her back with the hand that isn't holding mine.

"Promise me it won't happen again. Promise me Edward." She says with a hiccup.

"I promise."

She seems satisfied as she pulls back from him and I notice that she's in pajamas and her hair is all over the place. Jasper behind her also looks relieved, but clearly exhausted.

"Glad to see you're okay man." Jasper says and Edward gives him a slight smile in response. It doesn't escape my notice that neither Alice nor Jasper seem to care that I'm okay too.

Typical.

Suddenly Alice turns to me and a glare settles onto her face. Oh this aught to be good. "You did this! You almost killed him!" She shouts at me and if Edward didn't tighten his hold on her I think she would've launched herself at me.

"Alice calm down, you don't know what happened." Esme tries to come to my defense, but Alice isn't backing down.

"Of course I do! Their whole biology class saw it! Bella ran away from Edward. She ran from him! Knowing what would happen to them both when she did! And then she went and hid for hours!" Alice is still fuming and glaring at me.

I can feel Edward's smugness rising as his sister defends him and yells at me and this only makes my anger grow.

"Now Alice, I'm sure Bella didn't mean for this to happen." Carlisle says warily trying to calm her down but she only scoffs.

I understand her scoff because the idea of me not meaning for this to happen is slightly absurd. We are taught from day one what will happen if we are separated from our mates. Of course I knew this would happen. I can feel the tension in the room rising as everyone else starts to realize this as well.

I feel all eyes in the room turn to me and I can't help the automatic blush that forms on my cheeks due to being the center of attention.

"Bella?" My mom looks at me with fear and confusion. She can't understand why her daughter would risk her life like that.

I close my eyes tightly trying to block out everyone around me but I know it won't do me any good.

 _Come on Bella I think you've just experienced the fact that running from your problems will only lead to absolute disaster._

"Bella is she telling the truth? Did you run away from your mate?" Mom asks again.

I take a shaky breath and nod without opening my eyes. I don't want to have to face my parents or Esme and Carlisle. I don't know if I can handle seeing the utter disappointment on their faces.

"Why? Why would you do that? You knew what would happen." My dad's voice is laced with complete disbelief. Of course he can't imagine anything that would make someone want to run away from his or her mate.

I just press my lips together and shake my head. I don't want to talk about this right now. I can feel the tears coming to the surface and I will not allow myself to cry in front of three of the people I hate most in the world.

"Do not shake your head at us young lady. You almost died! This is not something we can just ignore and act like didn't happen! This cannot and will not happen again. We need to understand what you're thinking, what you're feeling. How else can we help you?" My dad asks.

"Help me? Unless you know of a way to get me unmated to this asshole there's nothing you can do!" I yell in frustration.

They think they can help me? No one can help me. I'm stuck living in a nightmare, forever attached to the man who's made my life a living hell for years.

"Language Bella! Apologize!" My mom is shocked that I would call someone a name like that to their face, as well as their parent's faces. And I'm sure she's even more shocked that the person happens to also be my mate.

"I will not! He is an asshole and I'm not sorry for saying it!" I can see everyone's eyes widen in alarm and I can feel surprise, anger, and slight regret coming from Edward. The regret surprises me but I don't have time to focus on that now. I'm too angry. "This… _person_ … has been nothing but rude, cruel, and horrific to me since the eighth grad. Along with Alice and all of their stupid friends. He has called me names, insulted me, tripped me, pushed me into lockers and he has made my life a living hell. I despise him with every fiber of my being. Mating to him is literally my worst nightmare come true so no I will not apologize for calling him an asshole or for running away from him. So the only way you can help me is by coming up with a way to break a mating bond so that I don't have to suffer through a miserable and most likely abusive life." I'm breathing hard when I finish and the room is completely silent.

My mom is silently crying and looks as if she's been struck across the face. My dad is glaring daggers at Edward and looks as if he would kill him right now if there weren't any witnesses around.

Esme has a hand covering her mouth and she looks as if she's going to be sick. "Edward… tell me this isn't true. You would never… I know you wouldn't…" but she can't finish the sentence because as she looks to her son she knows it's the truth. Shame is hitting me so hard from him as he looks down avoiding his mother's gaze.

"Alice…? Jasper…?" Carlisle asks in a tense voice. Alice and Jasper also look away from Esme and Carlisle in discomfort and what seems to be remorse. Probably not for me though, it's probably for hurting Esme like this.

Esme is out of her seat in a flash and rushing over to hug me. "Bella I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"Don't worry Esme I know it's not your fault."

"There will be consequences I promise you that." Esme looks me in the eyes and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Alice, Jasper, go to your room. Bella should not have to deal with either of you right now."

"But Mom, Edward just woke up and-"

"Now!" Esme shouts leaving no room for arguments. I jump slightly at the tone of her voice; I never would've expected Esme to be able to sound so scary. "We will be discussing this later. Jasper I will be speaking to your parents." I see Jasper visibly tense and Alice is instantly at his side rubbing his back. They quickly exit the room without further argument.

The silence stretches on until my mom finally breaks it. "Why didn't you ever tell us? We could've helped you. We could've talked to Esme and Carlisle, or at least done something."

"I didn't want to worry you." I say finally letting the tears fall down my cheeks. "I knew you guys were always worried that I didn't have friends even before I was bullied. So when the bullying started I didn't want to give you another reason to worry about me." I admit.

"Bella we are your parents. It's our job to worry about you and nothing will ever make us stop worrying." My dad says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Then him and mom are hugging me and I feel the security and comfort that comes with being hugged by my parents.

When I pull back I can see that Edward is still avoiding looking at his parents. They've both seemed to get over the shock and are looking at their son now with disappointment.

"Your mother and I are very disappointed in you Edward. We did not raise you to treat anyone like this."

"I know you didn't and I-"

"No. You do not get to talk right now. You get to listen." Carlisle cuts Edward off and he nods dejectedly. "You have hurt your mate." Esme states plainly and I see Edward visibly flinch at the words and his regret increases. "You have grown up dreaming about meeting your mate and showering her with love and kindness and you have done the exact opposite. You have shown her no kindness at all. You have failed her."

"If it wouldn't hurt both of you we would be telling the Swan's to take Bella and run as far from you as possible." Esme says and Edward closes his eyes as if he's in pain and leans his head back further into the pillow as if he can somehow move away from Esme's words.

"If it wouldn't hurt Bella we would take her away and leave you here." My dad states plainly and Edward's eyes open in fear. He grips my hand harder and I can feel the fear and desperation radiating off of him. My dad lets out a sigh. "But as it is we can't do that without hurting her so we have no choice but to allow you to remain by her side. No matter how much we want you away from her."

Carlisle lets out a heavy sigh. "You two need to get some food and water into your system and then get some rest. Even though you've been asleep for the past few days your bodies still need to rest and regain energy."

He's right, I still feel so tired. Yelling like that really took a lot out of me and I can feel that Edward is exhausted as well.

Esme is instantly up and out of the room, but she's back a minute later with some water and crackers. She gives me a slight smile as she hands them to me and I try to smile back.

Carlisle, ever the voice of reason, continues on. "I think we could all use a bit of a rest. We've all been at your side since we put you here a few days ago. It's six in the morning now so school's out of the question for today and I think it's best if you miss tomorrow as well. That way you'll have all weekend to recuperate and can return to classes on Monday. It's probably best if you stay here so that I can monitor you both and make sure your okay. Is that alright with you two?" He asks my parents.

"Of course you are more than welcome to stay in a guest room." Esme quickly adds.

"We should probably stay at our house so that we can change clothes and have a shower, but thank you for the offer Esme." My mom states, thankfully she's stopped crying by this point.

"That is of course if Bella feels comfortable with us leaving." My dad adds quickly and I'm so grateful to him for always thinking of my comfort.

"Thanks Dad, but I think I'll be okay. I mean I am going to have to get used to this eventually right?" I say in a somber tone. I can feel annoyance coming from Edward and I chance a look at him to see his eyes closed as he lays back, but that his jaw is locked in a clear sign of frustration.

"Bella we can stay in the room with you if it will make you more comfortable." Esme offers politely.

"Jesus Christ." Edward snaps. "It's not like I'm going to hurt her."

"You don't have the right to be getting lippy with us right now boy." My dad snaps back at him and his eyes flash with rage and he takes a step closer to the bed. Mom puts her hand on his arms and rubs it soothingly as Esme and Carlisle look at their son in disapproval.

"Okay I think we need to get some sleep." My mom says as she leans in and gives me a hug and a kiss. "We will be back later today to discuss what's going to happen. I love you Bella."

"Love you too. Love you dad." I say and his eyes soften.

"Love you Bells." He leans in and gives me a hug and whispers in my ear. "If he steps one more toe out of line you let me know."

"I will I promise."

Then Carlisle and Esme are walking my parent out and closing the door behind them, totally shutting Edward and I into his room together. Alone. At least I have a comfortable bed.

Hopefully sleep will come quickly.

* * *

 **A/N: Don't be fooled by Edward's regret, shame, and silence. He isn't suddenly mister nice guy. He might genuinely feel regret and shame, but that doesn't mean he actually likes Bella all of a sudden.**

 **Sorry I didn't get to respond to all the reviews to the last chapter but as you can tell by how long it took me to update my life has been pretty hectic these past few weeks. Another thanks to (almost) everyone for being so understanding and patient with me!**

 **I'm not going to leave an estimate for when the next chapter will be up because apparently going over that at all will leave some people furious. So I'll just say I will definitely be continuing this story and there will be an update at some point.**

 **Please leave a review! Anonymous reviews are welcome! They really mean a lot to me and definitely encourage me to write faster :) This time I will answer all of them! That's a promise!**

 **-Gingy**


	6. Chapter 6

**HOLY CRAP I'M BACK!**

 **I know we all thought this day wouldn't come, but here it is! New Chapter!**

 **Thank you to everyone who's stuck by me and left me nice, encouraging reviews/messages! It's been really hectic for me this year. It's my senior year of college, I'm applying to grad schools, taking my GREs, doing research, and trying to maybe write a real novel and a lot of other things. So I'm sorry for this being so late, but a break was needed.**

 **TO EVERYONE WHO LEFT ME NASTY REVIEWS/MESSAGES:**

 **HOW DARE YOU. It is NOT my job to write this story and I get absolutely nothing from it except my own pleasure. I am not getting paid and I owe you NOTHING. HOW DARE YOU curse at me and send me such disgusting insults. It is DISGRACEFUL that you would act this way in general, let alone to a person you do not know because they aren't doing something according to your schedule. Fanfiction writers don't owe you anything. You are all absolutely disgusting and I hope you don't act like this in real life. People don't owe you anything, especially when you act in such a horrific way. I really hope you all were being honest when you said you were done with this story because there is nothing I want more than you people never reading my stories again. Seriously disgusting the way you treat other people.**

 **That being said, to everyone who defended me and continued to encourage me, you all are amazing and a huge part of why I'm continuing 3**

* * *

Chapter 6

It doesn't.

The silence in the room is horrible and the emotions are even worse. Even though I'm tired all the other emotions I'm feeling overpower the drowsiness, making it impossible to fall asleep.

Even though I know Edward is still awake I cut my eyes over to him. He's unnaturally still and the arm that is touching mine ends in a tight fist. His jaw is tight as if he's clenching his teeth and his eyes are screwed shut so tightly that it almost looks like he's trying to stop himself from crying, even though I doubt that's the case. He must sense my curiosity because suddenly one of his eyes snaps open and he's staring at me. I'm surprised to find that his gaze is more wary than angry.

"What? You want to yell at me some more? Maybe call me an asshole again?" But there is no venom in his voice. He just sounds tired. I can feel dejection coming from him.

"You're really going to get on my case about calling you a name?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

I'm expecting a snappy retort or at least a glare. Instead he just closes his eye again and sighs. "I guess I deserve that." He mutters.

"You deserve a lot more than that." I mumble a bit put out.

"Look, I understand that you're not happy that we're mated, but it's not like I'm jumping up and down either."

"Are you kidding me?" I'm positive that even with his eyes closed he can feel how strong my glare is on him.

"All I'm saying is that neither of us wanted this, not just you, so you could stop acting as if you're the only one who's being effected by this."

I was seeing red. "You asshole. You're actually going to compare the fact that I've been mated to my bully to the fact that you've been mated to someone you find unattractive? As much as I think you can be a dumbass, I know you're not such an idiot that you actually think those things are equal." I'm trying so hard to remain calm. I clench my fists in anger.

He nods but keeps his eyes closed. "You're right, I do know. I failed my mate. I hurt you. It's not something I can ever undo. And my situation isn't nearly as bad." I feel my anger lessen slightly do to him admitting that I'm right. Also because I can feel his genuine regret at the fact that he hurt me. As if my changing emotions make him more confident he goes on, "and I do find you attractive, especially now." As if the fact that he now finds me attractive would make me feel better.

To my annoyance I do feel a slight bit of pleasure when he says that, but not nearly enough to cancel out all the anger. Is he for real right now?

"I'm sorry, are you hitting on me right now?" I ask in disbelief. I know the mating would make him attracted to me, but given how repugnant he used to find me even I'm finding it hard to believe that he's actually trying to flirt with me right now. Especially considering the conversation we are in the middle of.

"Yeah." He says like it's no big deal. When I just stare at him in disbelief he continues. "What? We're mates. I mean I know you're attracted to me." I blush because he's right, I am attracted to him, but I hate being reminded that he can feel that attraction. At my blush his cocky grin is back. "And I'm attracted to you too, so what's the point of fighting it. All we can do is move past everything and hope for a better relationship in the future." His hand reaches out to grab mine. I let him wrap his fingers around mine, but I don't hold his hand back. I'm angry. My emotions must hit him because all of a sudden he loses the cocky expression and looks unsure. "What? Why are you angry?"

"You actually think that I want you like that?" I ask in disgust.

He sighs, "Bella, I know you do. You might fight it and deny it, but you do. It's part of the mating, the physical attraction." And damn him, he's right, I do want him. See when people mate it's very sexual, after all one of the biggest parts of mating is the physical attraction. Example A: my parents getting it on at prom right after they mated and having me nine months later.

Edward kisses my neck lightly and a shiver goes through my body at the feeling. My heart is racing and I feel heat racing through my body. Holy shit. No one has ever kissed me before, especially like that, and I find myself unconsciously leaning into his touch. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about love." My heart races faster at the pet name and I feel my body responding exactly in the way he wants it to. I feel him smile against my neck. "I know you feel it, so do it." He presses his lower body against mine to prove his point, and I can feel his erection. I can't believe I did that to him. That I can affect the great Edward Cullen like that, the one every other girl lusts after. This time he kisses right behind my earlobe and I shiver again, this time letting out an embarrassing small moan. He lifts his lips so that they're right next to my ear. "You're so sexy Bella. Face flushed with desire, my mate, my Red." He runs a hand down my burning cheek and my body freezes. That nickname is like a bucket of ice water and I regain my senses. What am I doing? I know attraction is part of the mating, but just because I want him doesn't mean I'll give in. I still have control over myself, and I'd never let myself be with someone physically that that I don't trust.

"Stop." I get out rather breathlessly. He immediately listens and pulls back from me looking slightly dazed. Well at least he's got one redeeming quality; he knows how to respect a woman's decision.

"What?" He's genuinely confused and I can also feel his frustration and arousal, which isn't really helping me with my own.

I move as far away from him as I can so that only our feet are touching to keep the pain at bay. I need to get away from him to clear my head. "We aren't doing that." I state. And dammit but I actually feel sad that I'm putting my foot down, even worse is that I know he feels it too.

"Bella, everyone is attracted to their mate. It's not a big deal." He's talking to me as if I'm a child, but I don't mind because it's increasing my annoyance towards him and I'd rather feel that then what I was just feeling before.

"Fine, I'm attracted to you." He smirks at me, but I quickly wipe that look off his face when I keep talking. "But do you really think that I'll sleep with you, or even kiss you just because I'm suddenly attracted to you?" I know he wants to say yes because obviously he's willing to do these things now that he's attracted to me, but he actually shows he has some brains when he keeps his mouth shut. "Do you really think that I can just put this behind me just like that. That just because you don't want to hurt me anymore because of our mating bond that I can forgive all the times you did?" My voice is deadly calm, but my anger is rising and I know he can feel it too as his frustration begins to rise as well.

"Bella we are mates. There is nothing either one of us can do about that so we are going to have move on and learn to live with it and with each other." He actually has the gall to let out an annoyed huff.

I count to ten to control my anger. Screaming at him won't do anything, it'll just get him defensive and I need to make something perfectly clear. I wait until he looks at me so that I know I have his full attention. "I can learn to live with it, and I can even learn to live with you Edward, but I don't know if I can ever learn how to not hate you." He looks as if I've just stabbed him, but every word is the truth and I know he can feel that. I feel sadness like I've never felt before coming from him and suddenly he's grabbing my shoulders in desperation.

"Don't say that! You have to learn to like me, to love me. I'm your mate!" He's desperate and I'm completely shocked. I don't know if it's the exhaustion, or the fact that he's still frustrated from me turning him down, but I've never seen Edward so emotional and raw before. Even when he knew I was trying to run from him at school he was able to keep his calm and cocky composure. The man in front of me now was not confident at all. He was scared. The idea that his mate would never feel anything for him other than hate truly terrified him.

While the part of me that couldn't stand to see my mate in pain begged me to console him, comfort him, the part of me that had wished my whole life to see Edward Cullen as helpless as I was rejoiced.

"The mating bond can't make me love you Edward. Nor can it make me like you. I'm sure you can already tell that as I doubt you suddenly feel either of those things for me." His eyes close and I know I'm right. Even though he's now attracted to me, he doesn't genuinely care for me in any other way.

His forehead presses against mine, and his next words are said in a broken whisper. "But I'm willing to try." His eyes open and my brown eyes are suddenly drowning in his green ones. "I feel something for you now Bella, I do. And I know it's because of the bond, but I also know it can really become something. It has to. Please." His voice is scratchy and desperate and I want so badly to reach up and kiss him. To resume where we were just a few moments ago. I remember the feel of his lips on skin. So soft. His lips are right there. I could just reach up and touch them with my own.

 _He is your bully_ , I remind myself. _He's only saying this because of the bond, he hasn't changed._

"You might be willing to try, but right now I'm not." He freezes above me and slowly moves so that he's sitting beside me. I also sit up so that we both have our backs to the headboard. "Edward, you've hurt me. A lot. Probably more than you can imagine. And this might be hard for you to hear now that I'm your mate, but I don't care. I hate you. Not past tense. I do, currently, still hate you. Even if I'm attracted to you, that's still how I feel. And I know you hate me too, even if you're trying to fight that now that I'm your mate. You might be able to just move beyond our past, but I'm not. I am the one that was hurt Edward. Not you. I don't trust you not to hurt me again."

"But I can't hurt you anymore! I can't without feeling like I'm hurting myself!" He exclaims and runs his hands through his hair and down his face in frustration.

"That's the problem." I say and now he's confused.

"The problem is that I'm not going to hurt you or be mean to you anymore?" He's staring at me as if I'm an idiot and I feel my anger rising.

"The problem is that the reason you're no longer going to hurt me isn't because you don't want to, it's because you can't!" My voice is raised and I lower it quickly so as not to alert anyone else in the house to the conversation that we are having, but it still holds malice as I continue. "If we weren't mated I'd be starting another day of torture at the hands of Edward fucking Cullen." I spit his name and I can see him visibly flinch. "I'd be getting tripped in the parking lot, ridiculed at biology, and balls spiked at my head in gym. You are not a nice person Edward. At least not to me. You are an asshole and you are the reason that I hate waking up every school day. You've put me through years of hell and it will not be forgotten just because my genes suddenly tell me that I should be attracted to you and vice versa."

"Bella-" My name sounds like a plea.

"Do you know what it's like to be me Edward?" He's looking at me like a deer caught in headlights and I let out a harsh laugh. "Of course you don't, let me paint you a goddamn picture. I wake up everyday and my first thought is how can I avoid Edward Cullen and his friends. I don't just hate you Edward, I'm scared of you." I know as soon as that sinks in because I feel his emotions racing to me, but I ignore them. "Everyday I have to deal with every single person in that school hating me for absolutely no reason. I have never done anything to them and yet they hate me. Since eighth grade I have never had a conversation with someone my age that didn't involve an insult being thrown at me or laughter at my expense. The only time during the day that I have some peace is when I get home and I'm away from everyone. When I can relax with my parents and just be myself without fear of ridicule, without having to keep looking over my shoulder in case someone decides it'll be fun to knock my books out of my hand or trip me."

"I didn't-"

"And now you took that from me too." He stops trying to argue and the anguish I feel coming from him is almost equal to what I myself am feeling. I feel tears pricking my eyes and I do everything to keep them from falling. I do not want him to see me vulnerable. "I will never have another moment away from you. I will never know peace again. I will constantly live in fear and discomfort because I will be forced to live forever with my bully. So no Edward, I'm not willing to just forget. Because just as you can't hurt me anymore, I can't forget how much you already have."

"This can't be happening. Mates are supposed to be able to move on from anything, to always want to be with the other person. Not hate them!" He's so desperate and I have to fight every instinct to comfort my hurting mate.

"Yeah well most people don't mate to someone who has been nothing but cruel to them. The mating bond doesn't usually get it wrong."

"You think it's wrong." He says it so calmly, but by his emotions I know he's anything, but calm. However he's feeling so many things that I can't discern exactly what he's feeling.

"You don't?" I quirk an eyebrow at him. "There must have been a reason you picked on me for all these years Edward. You can't tell me you think this mating is right. You said it yourself five minutes ago, it's not like you're jumping up at down at this turn of events."

Edward remains quite and just stares straight ahead as if he's in shock. He eventually slides back down so that he's lying in bed again and closes his eyes, I do the same.

I'm still heated, but sleep is slowly starting to win over. Right as I feel like I might fall asleep he breaks the silence.

"Did you really mean it?" His voice is so quiet that I almost miss it. I turn my head slightly and crack an eye open to see that he's staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes still.

"Did I mean what?" I can't hide the yawn that escapes.

"When you told our parents that you thought this would most likely be an abusive relationship. Do you really think I'd abuse you?" I can feel the fear radiating from him and hear it in his voice.

I don't know what to say to that, it's the last thing I expected him to ask. Most of me knows that Edward would never harm me like that, but a small part of me is still questioning if his hate will come back and maybe even grow after he's stuck with me for so many years. I don't know what to say so I say nothing.

I see his eyes close and he just nods.

Before I go under I hear a soft "I'm sorry," being whispered, but I don't know if he thinks I'm already asleep or not. My last thought is wondering if he realizes that that was the first time he had ever apologized to me.

* * *

The first thing I notice when I wake up is that I've never been so comfortable in my life and that I'm super warm. The next thing I notice is the muffled voices and feeling of shame. I open an eye to see that I'm lying fully on Edward's body and his arms are wrapped about me tightly holding me in place. His hair is a mess and I can tell he just woke up by the sleepiness still on his face. Carlisle is sitting in one of the chairs that is still next to the bed and he's having a whispered conversation with Edward. Edward must feel from my emotions that I'm awake because he immediately stops talking and looks down at me with a guarded expression.

Carlisle looks to me with a smile on his face. "Good morning Bella. I hope you slept okay. No problems?" He chances a glance at Edward and I know he's asking if his son behaved himself. I can feel Edward's slight annoyance, but there's also acceptance and… gratitude? What could he possibly be thankful for?

"I slept fine Carlisle, thank you." I reply with a slight blush when I realize that he is witnessing me in this compromising position with his son. Edward feels my embarrassment and starts rubbing his hand slowly up and down my back. I sigh in contentment and I can feel the pleasure Edward feels through the bond.

"Lovely." He says while narrowing his eyes slightly at his son. He glances back at me and his expression softens. "Well you two managed to sleep the whole day away so it's Friday morning. Esme is busy making breakfast and we were hoping that you two would be willing to join us. Your parents will be here soon as well Bella. They stopped by yesterday afternoon, but you two were still asleep and we didn't want to bother you."

It suddenly dawns on me that I had gone four days without a shower. And I was lying on top of another person who hadn't showered in four days. Nasty. I slide off Edward and immediately feel cold. He grabs my hand so as not to lose the connection.

"I think I'm just going to grab a quick shower before they come. If that's okay." I quickly add and I can feel my cheeks flush.

"Lovely." I hear Edward whisper and my eyes immediately cut to him and once again I see a slight pink rise on his cheeks. I turn back to Carlisle and see him smirking slightly at his son.

"Of course you can Bella. You now have free reign in this house. Feel free to use Edward's shower." He points towards bathroom door that's in Edward's room. "Or you can use the bathroom in the second floor hallway, that's the one Alice uses." Second floor? How big was their house? I mean I know they're rich, but more than two floors?

"I'll use Edward's, if that's okay with him." I don't exactly use anything of Edward's, but I'd rather use his stuff than Alice's. Plus I'm going to have to get used to sharing Edward's things anyway since we'll be sharing a bed, house, and basically everything else for the rest of our lives. Oh god.

I can feel that Edward is pleased that I chose to use his shower and I struggle not to role my eyes at him. It's just a freaking shower.

"Of course it's okay. I'll wait out here and take a shower after you." It's weird that he's being so agreeable but I just nod slowly. He must mistake my expression and feelings for not understanding why he'd wait because he starts to explain himself. "I don't want to use Alice's because we aren't sure how far we can go while still feeling each other's emotions yet. I don't think it's wise to test it so soon after what happened." I don't know why he's struggling to justify himself, I don't give a damn where he showers, it's his house.

"Excellent. Just come down when you're ready." Carlisle says with a smirk again as he's walking towards the door. It's disarming how similar his smirk is to Edward's, so youthful and full of mirth. "Oh and Bella, that suitcase has some of your things for you that your mom brought over yesterday. I made Esme leave them put as I didn't imagine you'd appreciate us going through your things." He rolls his eyes fondly as he mentions his wife and leaves closing the door behind him. I can't help but feel gratitude towards him. I can't even imagine how mortified I'd be if Esme had indeed gone through my clothes, including my underwear.

"Are you sure you don't care if I shower first?" Edward's mood is happy and I'm still kind of confused by it.

"Of course not."

I decide to bring the whole suitcase in the bathroom with me so that I don't have to rifle through my things where Edward can see. I don't think I'd ever get over it if he saw the type of underwear I wear. They are not sexy and I don't need to give him any more reasons to laugh at me.

With one last glance at him and I go to the bathroom and lock the door.

* * *

Edward finally leaves the bathroom and I'm staring at him wide eyed and flushed. He's all smiles. Of course he is. He stops a bit nervous when he sees my expression.

"What?"

"I can't believe you just did that when I was right in here!" I seethe at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He says nervously but he avoids eye contact.

My eyes narrow. "I can feel your emotions, or did you forget."

His eyes bulge a bit. "Fuck."

"Yeah." Part of me wants to know if he was thinking of me, the other part of me wants to smack that part.

"Why?" He asks and I don't have a clue what he means.

"Why what?" I cross my arms over my chest defensively. I can't help it, I'm not good in awkward situations and this might win the prize of the most awkward situation I've ever been in.

"Why're you curious?" He looks genuinely interested. Why isn't he as embarrassed as me? He's the one caught red handed.

I flush. As if I'm going to tell him what I was actually wondering. Think fast Bella. "I was wondering why the hell you did that when there was someone else in the room right next to you!" I say exasperated.

He actually laughs. Laughs! "I'm sorry." He says catching his breath. "But the fact that you were in the room next to me is the reason why I did it." He says with a smirk and my eyes widen at his confession. Unknowingly he answered my real question. I feel a tiny bit of pleasure knowing that even in the morning I can affect him like that. When his smirk turns into a full-blown smile I know he caught me. Dammit. I answer him with a scowl.

"Whatever. Just don't do it again."

He rolls his eyes. "Bella. I'm a guy that's sharing a bed with my mate every night now, yet not having sex. I'm sorry, but it's going to happen again. I can't help it." When I just continue to glare he gets a serious look on his face. "Look I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I really am. But I can't help how I feel during the day and it's not fair of you to ask me to." He's right and I hate it.

"You're right, I'm sorry." It wasn't fair to tell him to not feel something; he couldn't control it anymore than I could control what I was feeling for him. "I promise not to say anything next time. Sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm sure you didn't want me to know what was going on it there." I trail off and awkwardly point towards the bathroom.

He looks embarrassed but then he gets a cocky grin. "And I promise not to mention it when you do it."

My eyes bulge and my mouth drops open. I know I must look ridiculous, but I can't stop gaping at him. "I will not! That will never happen!" I'm fuming. How could he even think that I'd ever do that in his bathroom!

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay! You might be less of a pain in the ass if you did though." He laughs.

"You are such a jackass!" I fume and go to walk out of the room done with this conversation and more than ready to be in the presence of people other than him.

"Hey Bella!" He grabs my arm lightly to stop me from leaving the room. As soon as he touches me I sigh in relief due to the feeling of completeness and calmness that fills me. I can feel that he feels the same way through the bond.

"What?" I grumble.

"You know…" he starts in a cocky drawl and looks me up and down, "I can feel your emotions too. I don't think you found what I did as bothersome as you'd have me believe." He gives me a wink and then walks me out of the bedroom dragging me along with him, flaming face and all.

I _really_ hate it when he's right.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey everyone! I'm glad to be back! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! A little bit of steam in there and some fluffy banter, but also some emotion and depth. I'm sure some people will say that Bella seems to be forgiving Edward already and it's too soon, trust me, she's not. But she is aware that she is stuck with him for the rest of her life with no way out. She's not going to just sit there and ignore him. One, because that would make a terrible story. Two, because like I said, she knows she's stuck with him! She doesn't want to be miserable for the rest of her life, so even though it's going to take lots of time she is willing to talk to him etc, etc. After all she has to be in the same room basically touching him for the foreseeable future. She isn't going to turn into a miserable mute. He's already caused her enough pain through the years; she isn't going to let him continue to ruin her whole life.**

 **I seriously want to thank everyone who reviewed this story and sent me encouraging things. You guys are such a big reason that I keep coming back. And I PROMISE that I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS STORY. My life is really hectic (see top A/N) and I'm sorry, but this is last on my list of things to do. BUT IT WILL BE FINISHED!**

 **Again if you're someone that thought it would be fun to curse me out please get off my page and away from my story. This story is not for you.**

 **BOOK RECOMMENDATION**

 **OKAY GUYS! I've read almost 50 books this year so I have a lot, but here are my favorites of the year!  
**

 ** _The Raven Cycle:_ Epic story, the characters are A+, LGBTQ representation, fabulous writing, and a complete series. I miss this gang so much 3**

 ** _All For The Game (The Foxhole Court):_ So I was kind of meh about the first book, but the second and third. hOlY SHIT! SOOO GOOD! LGBTQ representation, mental disorders, characters (oh how I love the foxes!), complete, and you can get the whole series for less than $3 on amazon for the kindle!**

 ** _A Court of Thorns and Roses:_ If you haven't read this yet GET ON IT! The writing. Oh god. How Sarah kills me. It's a darker Beauty and the Beast retelling so you know it'll be good. Characters are out of this world (especially in the second book), the sex scenes are fucking amazing (especially in the second book), amazing character development, and hot fae. Enough said. The last book comes out in May and I am not ready. But also I need it now.**

 ** _Throne of Glass:_ Basically anything by Sarah J Maas is epic. Characters are amazing, again amazing character development, strong kickass female characters, amazing sex scenes in the later books, and the last book that came out actually emotionally destroyed me. The final book comes out next year!**

 ** _Carry On:_ If you read Fangirl you know what Carry On is, but basically it's amazing Harry and Draco slash fic but with different character names and characteristics. But still obvious that it was based off them. Adorable fluff, cuteness overload, LGBTQ representation, wizards, hilarious, and it's a stand-alone book so it's not a huge time investment.**

 **That's a lot so I'll stop now, happy reading :)**

 **-Gingy**


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